Long distance relationship, pros and cons

It has been almost one month since my Japanese guy flew to his sweet Russia for the next two years. Previously I said that distance relationship does not scare me, and I was barely worried about our separation, having plenty of projects to accomplish on my own. However, I had fun creating a summary of the pros and cons of this temporary life choice. 


# 1 Widely top of the list, the WARDROBE. It has become my kingdom, mine, all mine. I have sorted my clothes at least 4 times – it was also an occasion to go shopping during the summer sales with the fantastic excuse of “I need to find some outfits for my holiday in Russia” . Having won my iron hangers, (alas not a throne), I’m not sure I can give the space back to my husband when he returns.

# 2 Girl’s beauty time ! I can get nail polish, perfume, or scented body creams without getting annoyed comment from my lovely but “smell intolerant” Japanese lover.

# 3 Zapping meals! I can let myself absorbed in my work and forget mealtimes. No more “I am hungry” every 2 hours. Freedom!

Je lis, lis, lis, lis … 5 heures plus tard …

# 4 I can watch horror movies. My tall and strong judoplayer of husband HATES horror movies. I do not know if this is common for Japanese people – by the way Asian movies are way more scarrier than western ones. I can not even watch a trailer (with headphones) without him coming, so stress, asking me to stop it. The idea of an horror movie on my laptop is sufficient enough.

Même les séries télés du genre Hannibal, c’est niet !

# 5 Laundry once per week. Happiness. And I can put scented fabric softener.

The cons:

#1 I still can not sleep. Yet when he is here, I am pissed because he wakes me up – reading through night with the light on, or fidgeting because he plays a game on his tablet. 

#2 I spend hours without speaking. It’s true, I have my Japanese lessons, the courses I teach in French, my meetings with friends. Also adds Skype, of course. But apart from that, it’s just the desert. So I talk to the cats I meet, the tanuki  … Not yet the trees and butterflies. Hopefully. I’m too happy to do my shopping, being able to say “hello, thank you, goodbye” to cashiers.

#3  I can not be lazy. Whether to run an errand or answer the intercom, I can no longer invoke a sudden fatigue, tendinitis of the little finger or my inability to move from the sofa in time.

#4  I can not watch horror movies. Or rather, I cannot take refuge in his arms, when my brain is convinced that the demon of paranormal activity in our closet. Or that there is a monster behind the door. Or zombies. Besides I close all the locks, including the balcony, you never know.

#5  I can not share activities with the person I love. This is probably what makes me feel alone the most. We had our rituals – to find a new place to visit on weekends, enjoy a cake in a new place on Sunday afternoon, go swimming, watch the latest YoutTube compilation about cats… Besides, even though I’ll want to watch the latest video, or go to this little restaurant alone, the fun would not be complete. Because it is always better when we are two.


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